Hey guys,
They say the need for resolve in human beings usually over-rides the need for perception. What you want usually blurs the reality of what you might get. I learnt this when i was very young. When some of the kids in the canteen wouldn't sit with me because i "spoke weirdly" ...or when my mom bought me "Moby dick" when i wanted a Game Boy. As you grow older you get accustomed to failure and rejection, you do.. but it never actually hurts any less. Its this progressive ache, this pain of sorts at nibbles at you.
In secondary school i was offered the chance to go to England but i couldn't because mom and dad had to pay off the renovation loans.. not going didn't hurt me as much as the knowledge that i could have gone. Human being, however foward looking are always tugged back by the strings of the past. Its not so much of regret as it is logic and reason. haha.. thus the phrase "reality bites"
Logic. Logic is in essence the basis of reality is it not? When we don't understand something in life we try and take a logical approach to it regardless of how improbable or how potentially inconclusive the result may be. The ideal thing to do in a situation of doubt is to think along the most logical path.
When you love someone you'd want them to love you back. Makes sense. Logic applies. However only experience would tell you that its never the case. Every man is entitled to his past.. i spent most of my teenage years hopelessly infatuated with someone only to be shot down at every turn. Blind confidence, teenage rebellion and well...being clinically brain-dead at some levels kinda spurred me on a little. It took me immense heartache to come to grasp the concept of love and the lack of it.
Love lost and love gained have only made me understand that i will never be able to get Everything i want in life. It was love that taught me my value as a person and it was love that made me respect (and endure) the friendships that i make in life.
The only thing i fear is that the resolve that see in love and the need for it on an emotional level might just blind me of the realism of life. When someone tells you you're making a mistake it's an opinion. When a few people say preach the same thing then it becomes a view, but if everyone you know say the same thing then what does that equate to? Even if you ask yourself to justify your actions at this point, it becomes immaterial.
I am not making a mistake. I know this because whatever I'm doing I'm doing it consciously. I know I'm putting myself in the fire. I know it. It doesn't make sense to most but it did to me.
Now however i'm stumped.
There's only so much a man can take when he sees hope slipping from right under his fingertips.
Here's something i know for sure.
Something like the last strand of hope.
She can dance all she want with whoever she wants till whenever she wants..
Just as long as she saves one last dance for me.
