I just spent half an hour trying to write out what happened between me and Shariffa and then i realized that it was pointless.
So i deleted the entire post and decided to take on a much more concise approach to the matter.
I shall put all my feelings and emotions into two words:
Fuck it.
Yes. Fuck it.
Whatever problems Shariffa may have with me. Fuck it
Whatever reason she has to be pissed at me. Fuck it.
Whatever she's said so far about not being friends anymore. Fuck it.
I've realized that i actually hit a limit here.
Something that i never thought i could.
I always prided myself in never having lost a friendship. I guess that was naive.
Here's my take on some issues:
Its human to err. Its a normal thing to make mistakes. See the idea is to be responsible for your mistakes and learn from them. Learn to never make them again. Now the first step is to apologize. As long as you've made a mistake, you apologize. Its the gentleman thing to do, heck its the humane thing to do.
Now sometimes you don't intend to make a mistake or hurt someone, but it happens anyway. No matter who's on the right or wrong, as long as you know you hurt someone, apologize.
What happens next is acceptance. When someone trespasses against you but apologizes, you should forgive them. Pride never gets you anywhere. When someone sincerely says sorry, even if you don't have the capacity to understand their mistake, you should accept their apology. Nobody on earth is unforgivable. To err is human, to forgive is divine is it not?
Having said that, i understood that a few weeks ago, something i did greatly hurt my friend Shariffa. I honestly meant no harm or offense in what i did as such i have absolutely no regrets. However i felt terrible that whatever i did had hurt this friend of mine.
As soon as i realized i had hurt this person, i apologized, sincerely. I SMSed her
By this time however, my dear friend had already deleted me off her facebook account.
Her choice, as hurtful and immature as that action was. It was her choice. No comments there.
I got a long and nasty reply from her for my apology. Very nasty. I actually lost some level of respect for her reading that message. I could have replied something equally nasty. Trust me, my pride and ego wanted to speak out very badly. But i decided to live and let live. A few days later, i tried to talk to her online. All i got was sarcasm.
So i've decided to fuck it.
I decided to fuck the idea of being the larger person and initiating a friendship.
Fuck it.
Fuck anyone who think they're above forgiving people and fuck anyone who don't think twice to throw friendships down the drain.
Fuck it.
I have to concentrate on my life and my loved ones.
So if you have a meaningless grudge against me..
Fuck it
