Hey guys,
Its disturbing.
The world out there is getting really dull and...void.
Everthing.
Everthing is so Grey.
The world seems so grey.
I...feel so grey.
You know how it is when you're in one of those moods where you just shrink in within.
Like as if the whole world keeps looking at you and you just want to hide?
Yep, that feeling in you that just wants to hide...and reflect...and just observe the world.
That mood just hit me.
Hard.
The trip to KL for the B.V.T Camp was ok.
Most of us just needed to get away from school...even if it ment working our butts of acting.
Most of us.
I just wanted to be alone.
Even on the trip up to KL, i just backed off from the excitement.
Yeah.
I know..
Thats a first for me.
Sorry i freaked you out Dan.
Yeah i do sound like a chic..i know
I've been thinking alot this past week.
Thinking about changes and relationships.
Thinking about how fragile a human can be.
Just thinking.
Mom and Dad stopped fighting.
Thats good.
But you know what happens when people fight.
They let loose feelings.
Feelings that we hold deep within us.
Its good to know that my parents still love each other, very much.
Its good to know that like most fights in the family, this one ended with smiles not tears.
But i saw a side of my parents that i've never seen in all my lifetime.
A side of them that made us closer yet left many questions.
That was what set me thinking.
And i still am thinking.
Will always be, i guess.
I guess the questions about life are in the very leas the beauty of existance
The fact that we can never fully understand ourselves...the people around us...
God.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not depressed.
Nope.
Just very withdrawn.
I woke up this morning too see almost black skies and rain just pouring down.
I smiled.
That is how i feel.
I feel like i have a storm inside me.
Cynical, you can call it.
More Cynical than usual.
I'll get better.
Just need some time.
I'm staying indoors till i get my carebear-tatoo-of-an-ice-cream-logo-on-my-belly back.
Oh and I won't be updating tomorrow.
So i'm gonna go ahead and wish my favourite Paki happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday Sarah.
I promise i'll get you something when i see you.
Love you.
